Every two years your liver's reputation is offered rebirth. During the Olympics your usual drunken bar crawls are not seen as debaucherous meanderings, instead they're proof of your patriotism. Be the best American you can: Charge a giant bar tab, eat a bunch of fattening food and watch the world's greatest athletes compete on the most televisions possible.
We want to help you achieve this honorable goal, so we did a scouting mission (belch) and found the ten best places to watch the Olympics in Dallas.
1.) The Owner's Box -- The swankest place in Dallas to cheer on our team is inside the Omni Hotel. Boasting 72 televisions -- including screens in the bathrooms so you don't miss the pivotal, unexpected moments -- The Owner's Box has nooks throughout, a patio and bar area all surrounded by Olympic coverage. The best part? You can participate in the ultimate American event: celebrity sighting/photobombing. You never know who's about to pony up next to you. They've got specials: Bangers and Mash paired with Guinness is $15, and flights of Sam Adam's and Boston Lager will run you $8.
2.) The Londoner -- While all of the Londoner locations will be showing the games, whether or not they'll open extra early for them will be on a location-by-location basis. Uptown's pub promised us they'll be ready to drink at any hour of the day if Great Britain is playing football. Since most of the crap NBC coverage is on delay, this won't effect too much. But if you're looking for a place to get lunchtime soccer schnockered, this is it.
3.) The Nodding Donkey in Uptown -- Not your traditional uptown bar, this neighborhood hang is celebrating, Donkey style. They've got a red white and blue layered frozen cocktail so you can show your patriotism and feel like you're on vacation. (It doesn't have a name yet, so feel free to give 'em your ideas. They cost $5.) Also, every time America wins a gold medal, you'll get a draft beer and Bacardi shot combo for $3! USA! USA! USA! (Television count: 20)
5.) Frankie's Sports Bar -- This place boasts 86 TVs, with two projection systems, plasma screens on the patios and -- wait for it -- The Bar Olympics. Register now for this weekend's events: Competitive eating, intense bar sport play-offs, prizes and beer specials. Because really, competitive eating is the best Olympic sport that never was.
555 S. Lamar St., Dallas, TX