If you said Mitt Romney to any of the above questions, you're an idiot. Same with Barack Obama. The answer is former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson, the Libertarian Party's candidate in the 2012 presidential election.
You've probably heard little or nothing about Johnson. That's because the lamestream media, being tools of the two-party establishment, systematically ignore his existence. So, to catch you up, Johnson is the extremely fiscally conservative Republican who believes in abolishing the IRS, minimizing intervention in foreign countries, and promoting civil liberties. Oh, and per his campaign video, he is "the only candidate who agrees with you 100 percent."
If you want to know more specifics, you can visit his campaign website. Or, you can ask him in person, seeing as his campaign will swing through Texas this week.
He'll be in Odessa on Tuesday, which is a bit of a drive, but he's scheduled to be at The Free Man in Deep Ellum at 7 p.m. Wednesday before making his way to the Park City Club the next morning for for a 7:30 breakfast. Two more Thursday stops follow in Fort Worth, at 4 p.m. at Pop's Safari Room and at Joe T. Garcia's at 7:30 p.m., before Johnson makes his way to Austin, San Antonio and Houston.
All but the Safari Room will cost you $50 bucks, which is quite the bargain for rubbing elbows with a presidential candidate. It's a helluva lot cheaper, at least, than having dinner with Romney.